I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
