The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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