I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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