i barfeds in our rink
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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