we have officially lost it.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
