I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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