Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
