Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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