Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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