Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
