Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Let's paint friendship bongs
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
