do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
