McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
