mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
