Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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