3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
