My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
You peed on a flamingo?!?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
