My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
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