i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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