well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
We left an ass print on the piano.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
