my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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