He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Randomize
