Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
