if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
