Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
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