I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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