I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
its not stalking. its research.
I don't think brook has ever known best
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
