is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize