32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
