Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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