Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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