I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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