Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
and you fell through a lawn chair
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
