You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
