yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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