I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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