so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
