if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
