coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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