My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
