I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
