that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
honey bunches of taint.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
