So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
he's gonorrhea incarnate
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Randomize
