Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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