There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Randomize
