Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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