I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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