I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Everyone says I win the strip club
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
