So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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