I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I think I just sharted jello shots
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