i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
