Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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